Dear World

Dear World,

I regret to inform you that I no longer consider myself to be a part of you. The contract between the both of us is binding. Although I will still be living and roaming amongst you, I will not be a part of you. I will be starting a revolution against the things which you have created. As people look upon us I would not like to be tattooed with your creations. I would like to withdraw all considerations of labeling me with wars and weapons, armies and advertising, prejudice and pride, selfishness and starvation, sex and seduction, turmoil and treachery, money and mayhem, greed and government. I am sorry, but I will not conform to your ways.

It's not you, it's me...ok it's you.

Your way is cool and all, but it just never seems to fill my satisfaction. It is like I am trying to fill up this hole and the stuff you have just doesn't fit. I have found another world, another kingdom that fills this hole. It's the only one that can fill anyone's hole. So if you know anyone else that isn't satisfied or happy with you, send them on over. There is always room for more.

I hope there are no hard feelings,
Mat Pautsch

I Want To Write To You

I would have written something to you today
But fate would have it, that it is not the way
So maybe I should write you something to say
Would that point you in the right way?

I would have told you how I feel
But then that would break my seal
The love of my heart won't peel
It only moves like a wheel

Grab on, hold on tight
Cause this thing is about to take flight
No thanks, it's already got a light
And yes, it does turn right

Keep holding on, it's about to explode
Cause love can take off quite a load
There is no need to break the code
It's already free, like an open road

So here I write, fingers flowing fluently
Writing to you, hopefully not to prudently
Wishing it not to forward, or to rash
Or maybe to fast, like a mad man dash

I dreamt of you in the fog
So I ran back with a jog
Jumped over a log
And wrote you this blog

Because I want to write to you...

Cure Me

I watched A Christmas Story tonight. You know, the "You'll shoot your eye out" movie. I enjoyed it, sitting down on the floor, drinking some water.

It's been a stressful time throughout the last couple of weeks. It has had its ups and downs, all-nighters and naps. I asked and I am still asking a lot of questions during this time. Not out loud to anybody, but only to myself. Sometimes I would scream it to myself and other times I would write it down. I would get angry, writing all my problems down. I would type and type screaming at myself and at others for bringing the rocky roads and the sleepless nights.

I hate it.

Everything is piling up. School, life, friends. The weight is getting unbearable. Crying won't help, as much as I try. A hug might help, but I won't feel anything. So I close my eyes so I can see nothing around me but blackness. Everything around me is gone. It is peaceful, but never lasts.

But tonight I watched A Christmas Story. About half-way through the movie I felt a calmness, a head on my shoulder. No head was there, but it felt like it was. It brought a smirk to my face, and breath of fresh air. A new feeling in my heart strings. People I don't even know, laughing together, that's a cure. You might not know there name or where they're from but you enjoy one another, laughing.

So laugh, love, and live.

The Music

Someone once told me, "Music is what feelings sound like"

Sometimes I think music and media get too much of a bad reputation. Yes, there is some stuff out there I will never understand and is pure evil, but I believe that to find the truly good stuff you have to search deeper. There is music out there with truly remarkable lyrics and I thought I'd share some of them with you.

I won't go into detail for any of them, but if you want to know what some of them mean to me feel free to ask.

Yellowcard : Paper Walls : Shadows and Regrets
: And we were only kids
And our time couldn't end
And how tall did we stand
With the world in my hands

Skillet : Comatose : Yours to Hold
: I'm stretching but you're just out of reach
I'm ready when you're ready for me

Classic Crime : Albatross : Who Needs Air
: I never knew the world until I saw through your eyes,
I never knew my self until I ripped off my disguise.


Linkin Park : Minutes to Midnight : What I've Done
: I'll face myself
To cross out what I've become
Erase myself
And let go of what I've done

Chris Brown : Exclusive : Superhuman
: Don't know what your doing to me with your love
I'm feeling all Super human
You did that to me
Super human heart beats in me
Nothing can stop me here with you, superhuman

The Dance

A music box is a powerful thing. A beautiful tune coming out of a small box that brings peace and harmony to my ears. I become entranced when I hear a thing such as this. I close my eyes and imagine myself swaying to the music.

I am dancing.

No worries or stress. Life cannot get a hold of me, all other noises leave me. I am happy, content, and wanting to party. The dance is the party. Never do I want to stop dancing because then the party will end. The dance shall never end. I want to party and dance, always making sure I don't lose my footing.

In a music box, the music eventually stops. Someone has to wind it up again so we can party and dance more.

There is a guardian that winds up the music box of life, but makes sure that our hearts are set to the right beat of the dance.

If we dance for ourselves, the music stops.
If we fake the dance, the music stops.

There are other fake guardians, telling everyone to dance to their own tune. So beware of them.

We dance for others and for the one and only guardian. The guardian keeps the music going while we dance and invite others to come along and join the dance. You tell them all about the guardian of the music box.

I read somewhere that," music is freely honest, approachably impersonal, and romantically attractive."

If that is music, then dancing is an expression of that.

So dance. Dance to the music.

Tonight We Shine

And as a star shines so bright
I see nothing but darkness here
I know stars shine this night
But why isn't that anywhere near?
What do I do to take flight?
What should I do to burn so bright?