The Lastest Sensation That Is Temptation

I have been addicted to this Internet game as of late. It is called Bubble Breaker. It involves shooting colored "bubbles" that match up with the other "bubbles." When you get three or more bubbles matched up, they explode. So there are a bunch of bubbles randomized and it spins around like a wheel when you hit it. There are times when you can break off many bubbles at once when you break the bubbles that all the other bubbles are attached too. What seems to me is that at random times more and more bubbles with add on to the wheel, usually that the most inconvenient places. If you eliminate all the bubbles in the wheel you go onto the next level which is worth more points.

There are many elements that hit me about this game. In order to move on you must have a balanced, aggressive, yet conservative strategy. You must cut to the middle of the wheel to try to break off all the bubbles attached to the source. You learn from your mistakes and become better the more you play. Even when you fail, you are immediately greeted with a "Try Again" button.

For me it relates to life. At times, you feel surrounded with doubt, pride, lust, struggles, and loneliness. So you start to chip away at it because you want to be better than that. So slowly you get closer and closer to where you want to be. The wheel starts spinning and you aggressively attack issues but are always aware of surrounding temptations. The devil has no hold on you because you have a mighty cross. And when things seem to be going so well more bubbles come in the most inconvenient time. You take a hit, and as you start to fall backwards, the devil laughs in your face. What seems to have been going so well suddenly comes to a halt. You battle on longer and longer hoping for some miracle that you make it, but you don't. Failure comes, you have fallen again, and have sinned again.

It was going so well, things were looking up. If only there was another shot. Then a man named Jesus comes up and hands you a "Try Again." So you try and try again, because you long to be like Jesus, perfect and mighty, yet you never seem to succeed. Further and further you come along as you learn from past mistakes and cut to the source of the problems while chipping away at the outside. Failure is inevitable, but the forgiveness and grace of your Saviour encourages you to strive, to go further.

And so it goes, the never-ending fight with breaking yourself down and making Jesus the center of your life. When there are no outside bubbles, your heart is exposed. People see who you truly are and Jesus is reflected throughout. Though at times the bubbles will pile on more and more, the levels will get harder and harder, but you know with confidence your mission throughout this story called life is your Savior.

Try again and again here.

The Midriff

The Midriff, according to Wikipedia, which is a credible source in my opinion, is "the section of the body between the chest and the waist, i.e. the diaphragm area. Its main outside anatomical feature is the navel. 'Midriff' is often misspelled 'mid-drift' or 'midrift'."

For starters, the midriff is an awkward sight in my opinion. It is just one of those things I would not like to see everyday. I imagine it like a crack in someones armor. It is almost like they are asking for a punch in the gut.

For relative purposes, I was sitting in church today and while we were standing up singing along with guitar guy and the powerpoint I noticed that everyone kept checking their shirt. I think they were either making sure they kept proper looking for Jesus, or trying not to distract someone with indecent midriff exposure. Even I was doing it.

I'll be honest with you. Wearing a polo or tie, sweater vest or suit doesn't make you any better of a Christian. I mean Jesus wore a robe(maybe), and was homeless. Jesus doesn't judge by the clothing company on the tag but by the goodness of your heart. Superman couldn't see through silk. Jesus can see through anything. I won't lie, I tend to dress a little nicer when going to church too. It's nice to know that Jesus doesn't judge you by your clothes, yet very sad that others do.

I think of our "Sunday Clothes" like armor, hiding the realness of our heart while protecting us from others judgment. So we worry about people seeing cracks in our armor and realizing who we truly are. We cover it up as soon as possible, so to not let anyone know of our troubles and doubts. We check it constantly so to not let anyone know. The armor is hard to fit into and doesn't allow much flexibility. So then why are we so comfortable in it? Why not break free of our armor?

So I do not ask us to walk around naked, because that would be awkward. I would say wear your normal clothes and to come as you are. Don't come with your armor on, ready for battle. Come open and free, sharing your freedom with others. Then there would be no midriff check every 10 seconds. There would be no cold breeze on your lower back on a cold day.

The midriff, a very awkward sight, yet very capable of teaching lessons.

Problems

"I think every conscious person, every person who is awake to the functioning principles within his reality, has a moment where he stops blaming the problems in the world on group think, on humanity and authority, and starts to face himself."

- Donald Miller

After every complaint about world issues you never hear anyone blame themselves. It's all about the other guy. You blame global warming on all the cars on the road, yet you don't bother driving your own car because "you're not as bad as the other guy." You blame unemployment and homelessness on corporations and cheap overseas production, but what money do you give to shelters or non-profit organizations? You put the weight of the world on governments and the legislature but you yourself take no stand. The problems aren't out there, there inside of you and me. You are the problem. I am the problem. It makes me feel like a hypocrite in many ways.

I imagine it like looking into a mirror and seeing but a poor reflection. And while you gaze deeper and deeper into the reflections eyes you realize what you have become. The monster inside has revealed itself. You realize that it is your own reflection, yet you don't know what you have become. Then comes the all important, sum-of-all questions. You stare into your eyes believing you can see inside of yourself, and as you gaze deeper and deeper a look of concern washes over and you ask...

Who am I?

A breakthrough. A moment of finally understanding. The problem isn't the goverments or gods, the terrorists or teachers, the oil refineries or polar ice caps. The problem is yourself.

A very prominent and thought-provoking scene in the movie "Iron Man" comes to mind. There is our hero, pissed off because his weapons company is dealing to both sides of a war. He gets up, not to go to some rally to protest with a picket sign, but to do what he can to solve the problem. As he walks up to get into his suit, he looks and sees his reflection in the window. He sees what is inside of him, and destroys it. He destroys the monster inside and becomes what he truly wants to do.

Save the world.

The Alarm Clock of Life

It's a sad time when my alarm clock starts buzzing in the morning. I have nobody to blame but myself. I mean, I am the one who sets it the night before. Night after night, I turn my alarm clock back on, setting myself up for turmoil and disgust in the morning. My roommate has to set two alarm clocks, because sometimes he would sleep through the first one. So maybe we trust our alarm clocks too much, or maybe it runs our life more than we think.

We put so much faith into our alarm clocks to wake us up in the morning but we've lost faith in the alarm clock of life.

I think the alarm clock should be the symbol of our generation. I feel as if the buzzer is going off on the alarm clock of life, yet we've turned our ears against it and plan on sleeping for as long as we can.

It's probably because we're comfortable in our sleep. It's warm, comfortable, and close. Just like we dream away the issues of the day while in our beds we also dream away the alarm clock of life. The buzzer is ringing, waiting for you to turn it off and start your life the way you're supposed to live it but no, you hit the snooze button.

When you hit the snooze button on the alarm clock of life you snooze on your life.

So wake up you faithless! Wake up from your slumber! Wake up to the disaster you've been living! Wake up from the dream, the illusion! Wake up from your walk and start to run, skip, and jump through your life! Wake up and answer the alarm clock of life! Wake up from the easy path of life and meet the hard one straight on!

I Can't Breathe

You can't stop breathing
Cause you're the reason I'm still living
My heart knows it's you I'm missing
So it's life that you are giving

I know when I'm cold
It's you who I long to hold
But I'm never that bold
And then you are never told

I had breath, but you took it away
Don't worry, you don't have to pay
All I want is to see you today
And tell you I'm OK
My love for you will be strong in May
For I'm breathing off of it this day

So I'll breathe off thinking of you
Until someday I'll give you a clue
And tell you everything that's true
That it's you I'm pretty into

I Miss You

If one tear could write
Scrolls would fill up many pews
If that is too much think about tonight
Think of all my tears shed missing you
So maybe these words will shed some light

Even if I wish to see you with all my might
I would still have to take a flight
And if I could see your sight
I know things would be alright

So even though these words are few
I'm glad to say I miss you too
And I think my heart just flew
Because I'm sure it knew
That we just grew
And it had the best view

All because you miss me, and I miss you.

Goodnight To You

So you didn't have any fun today
But we'll make up for it in May
And you'll remember it for many days
Then we can recount what we say

We'll swing in the summer air
Not worrying about how we'll fair
I'll tell you how much I care
As I stroke your smooth hair

Because even though we're both gone
Without you I don't feel strong
And previously I had no song
But that was before you came along

So, I'll say goodnight to you
Wishing your nightmares are few
While I dream of your eyes hue
So, goodnight to you

Breathe In, Breathe Out

Here I am, hand holding a pen
Because I don't want to break your heart again
Writing to you all night from a den
All of it, with this pen

Why can't you be mine?
Maybe we should give it more time
Waiting for you I'll be fine
Don't worry, I won't whine
Just tell me to say a line
To make you be mine

Miles may separate us
But being together is a must
Just send me some love in a wind gust
Because the little I have is turning into dust
I know we're not a bust
So I'll try not to cuss
And even harder to not fuss
Until you and I become us

I'll breathe in, hearing your doubt
Yearning for you, it's the end of the drought
Cause you're sure a knock-out
And we'll make this work-out
I know our relationship will sprout
And with eyes closed, I'll breathe out

Doubt

Dear Reader,

I wrote the following about 3 months ago at a time when confidence and support seemed to be absent. Doubt felt all around me. I found out that people are searching for something to fill their hole of wants and desires. The sad thing is these people have already found what they're searching for, they just don't want to use it. Instead of filling their hole with what they already have they find other things to try to fill it. Spoiler alert, it doesn't work. You know what you have, use it. The reason I didn't post this right away was because I felt it was to angry and that I myself might have been to judgmental. So to clear up any confusion or hateful thoughts toward me please remember that I love you and that this is done out of love.

In Love,
mat

I have doubts. Too many to count. School, life, future, money, etc...

One of my biggest doubts is myself. I have no faith in myself. No self-confidence or self-esteem. I don't know where I am going or what the future holds for me. I don't know what to do. Eventually, my mind crumbles and drags everything else down with it. I sit down in my chair, exhausted and stressed out. I put my head on my desk or in my hands trying to support the ever growing weight. I try to get some tears to come out just so maybe I'll feel better, but they don't come.

I am a stone. Cold, solid, lonely, and having nobody but me.

I need someone to embrace me, comfort me, absorb me, and give me a reassurance that they'll never let go.

But it's too late. I have nobody like that. I am the lone wolf with no clan. My knees are weak, arms are heavy. My heart is a rock and I don't believe in anyone or anything. I lack motivation. Doubt is like a cancer. 

I AM DOUBTING.

I constantly find myself asking what the point of this place is or if this is really where I should be. This isn't what I expected. Their priorities are out of line. Their mission is not being followed. They don't want to be unique but they want to be just like the other guys. I'll give you a book and show you that that doesn't work! A place full of dirty people putting clean clothes over them just so they look clean? I'm not buying into that! Why don't you just clean yourself first? 

All the people here are fake, wearing a mask like a costume party. They all act like there are perfect in the spotlight but secretly they are all dirty fools, acting their way up the ladder. They take off their mask to reveal who they really are, but nobody sees it. They don't want to struggle through the narrow path. They pull out their masks at their pleasure just for their own self-worth. Where is the honesty in that? I do not think I know any of you!

You sing to the people around you, not to the One who deserves it! You stuck up souls! Your heart should sing, not your tongue! I cry when I see what it has become. I'm required to see this happen? Is this some trick? Some torture chamber?

I am sick of your show! Your act! Your play! I'm sick of you constantly saying one thing and then turning around and stabbing Him in the back, over and over again!

I AM SICK OF THE SHOW!

Your show is never worth seeing. People may want to see it but it will never work out. Why not just be yourself? Wouldn't that bring consistency?

Your show, your mask, are a slap in the face. 

I am guilty of this show and this mask too.
I need to be stripped clean.
We need to be stripped clean.

WE NEED AN INTERVENTION, A REVIVAL, A REVOLUTION!

We need to tear ourselves back to the foundations. NO! We need to rid ourselves of the foundation, because it is weak and turmoiled, like a building built in the sand. We need to relocate and find another place to set our life, our goals, our priorities!

WE NEED A ROCK!

We will rebuild on a rock and rebuild our foundation. We won't wear masks. We will remove our tongue and heart and replace them with our genuine ones. Together, we will rebuild ourselves, living and loving, taking out the bad and replacing it with good. Through storms and droughts we will survive. 

WE WILL BECOME GENUINE!

Invite everyone to come along. Together we will dance, live, and love. Tell them to come as they are, but to prepare for a change. We will tear down your walls, your beliefs, your very being! Together, we will change.

There will be doubts, for you cannot rid doubt in life. We will fight and battle with doubt. We will be knocked down many times, wanting to quit, from taking this hit. Together, though, we shall overcome it.

I will know and trust in the foundation that cannot fall...

Lost

I had another idea for today's blog but with a sudden change of heart and some writers block. I have decided to share something else not of my own. This is a song written and recorded by my good buddy. I like the words and it is a pretty good tune too. As dear Copeland says: "Sing with your head up with your eyes closed;
not because you love the song,because you love to sing."
__________________________________________________

Lost
Listen, Princess, as I tell a story; a story that you probably know quite well.

About a silver knight who searched for glory because in love with your own self he fell.

This knight was confident and he was noble - these were the traits that caught your royal eye.
He said, "My lady, I will give you all I'm able. I give up all I have if you'll be mine."

He was lost. He would fight for you despite the cost. He would prove himself to you because of love.

Our knight knew that he couldn't get you easy; a princess is a bride that must be won.

He knew that he must go and slay a dragon if you could ever his darling become.

He rode through meadows and through jagged mountains until he came upon to dragon's cave.

He was terrified but still drew closer, trusting that his love would keep him safe.

He was lost.

He would fight for you despite the cost.

He would prove himself to you because of love.

The months passed by with no sign of our hero; the people soon forgot that he was gone.

And you, my lady, gave your love to others.

There's nothing left of that knight but this song.

He was lost, his body left up somewhere in the rocks.

He would never be with you.

He lost his love because of love.

Listen to the song here

Am I Invisible?

The title from this blog comes from a movie I watched over the weekend. An agent, having a bad day asks this question after someone bumps into him and then another person rolls something over his foot. That was what put an end to the crappy day this character had. When he said the line I first interpreted it as funny, but then after some time I found it as a question of desperation.

Am I invisible? Does anyone see me or my struggle? Don't you see my tears?

His failures and troubles made his heart go deeper in sorrow as his tears shouted louder and louder. Desperation came out through this line as he softly spoke it to himself. It seemed to be one of those days for him where a hug just wouldn't do it for him. To be honest, I might be over exaggerating this quote but I think a lot of quotes are out there like this. There like skipping a small rock across the water, it covers a lot of areas.

Everyone likes to get noticed everything now and then, everyone likes a little acknowledgment here and there. People involved in a movie get there name in the ending credits. I think some people crave the spotlight too much. I find that annoying and selfish. Others are humble about it, even when nobody notices there accomplishments.

The story does end happily ever after. His failures soon turn and he becomes a hero. He gets his acknowledgments from a surprised crowd and his invisibility is gone.

So I would say the lesson learned would be to notice the invisible people because watch out, they'll surprise you. I would like to surprise myself sometimes. I want to be bold, surprising, and exciting. Surprise yourself with some of the stuff you do and take some risks.

Good luck.

Touch

My dad and I went phone shopping today. Phones are pretty unreal now-a-days. Touch phones are the next big thing supposedly. Every company and provider is doing it. No buttons needed. I found it pretty impressive that just a small touch of a finger can do so much. I think this can apply to even more that just a cell phone.

I imagine it like a long line of dominoes. All you need is a small touch of the first domino and the rest is history. You might not even know what you have done but it can cause so much. Whether it be a pat on the back, a hand-shake, a high-five, or a hug. Touch has power. It could be one of the most powerful things on the planet. We could change everyone with this power. Your house, your school, your country!

But proceed with caution. This power can be overused and then the power is lost. Be bold with your power, but be smart. Peter Parker's Uncle said it best that, "With great power, comes great responsibility." Yes, you are a superhero! You are great! So go put on your cape and tights, take off your glasses and start using your power for good.

Start the domino effect, start the trend, start with a touch.

Overcome Impossible

I saw a movie today. During the previews I was inspired by the word impossible.
Impossible is something that cannot be done or accomplished. Adidas has "impossible nothing" but I think impossible is something, something that has to be overcome. I hear of things that are deemed impossible, yet they are overcome.

I have overcome impossible.

I think what I have done in life could have been deemed impossible once. What I have said and what I have done. I think impossible was just put in our vocabulary for a better excuse to give up and to make failure a little easier. They say it is impossible, but what I've done is impossible. I might fail. Impossible shouldn't be in a vocabulary. Everything is possible, nothing is impossible.

So I want to be daring and encouraging. I want to soar to new heights and I want to bring people along with the ride. Overcoming impossible is hard to do alone. Maybe impossible is why people root for underdogs. Together they overcome odds and possibilities.

So go try something and overcome it.

Your Friendly Neighborhood Spider

There is a spider living in my bathroom. I do not know much except that it is a good listener because I did most of the talking to it. I would talk to it, ask it questions, and it would just sit there listening to what I would have to say. I could've asked it questions about itself but I just needed someone to listen and that spider provided the answer for me.

I think listening is a great talent. I mean, I talked my head off to that spider and it didn't say anything. It made me feel better. I think I found the next Olympic sport.

Now I want to be a great listener. I want to be that friendly neighborhood spider. Speaking and listening goes hand-in-hand though. In order for one person to listen, one has to speak. I think I speak too much.

So here I am sitting, waiting, and listening.