In the book "Drops Like Stars" by Rob Bell, which is a book of thoughts on creativity and suffering, it talks about the line "I need to hear some songs that recognize the pain in me." In a short summary, it basically means that whatever you are feeling, whether it be suffering or happiness, you're not alone.
January 28, 2011
Song of the Week 1-29-11
In the book "Drops Like Stars" by Rob Bell, which is a book of thoughts on creativity and suffering, it talks about the line "I need to hear some songs that recognize the pain in me." In a short summary, it basically means that whatever you are feeling, whether it be suffering or happiness, you're not alone.
January 27, 2011
Body Parts | Eyes
Eyes.
The first thing I notice about a woman. If you're allowed to stare into them long enough you can see emotion and logic wrapped up in a poetic art that you wish you could explain but words seem to lose the grasp of it. The black middle, with an infinite depth, surrounded by a multitude of colors that seem to change the more you glance at them, encompassed by a pure white, whiter than paper but still with a descriptive texture. The beauty and perfections abound many times over.
Of course, we can't take all the perfections without the imperfections. The eyes can become deceitful, causing humans to stumble, and innocence to be thrown out. Sometimes I wish for my eyes to be gouged out but then I'm reminded of the beauty of tears, and the things that words can't provide.
Eyes.
January 24, 2011
Feeling Broken For The Broken
My roommate broke his clavicle right before Christmas Break. The clavicle, also known as the collar bone, takes like a month to heal according to the internet.
After the incident he was in a sling for some time and basically did nothing. He tried going to class, tried walking faster outside, and tried getting out of bed in less than an hour. He, only on one occasion, tried showering.
Not showering is something my roommate has become known for. Usually he showers right before work and that's about it, which isn't enough times a week in my book. So, of course we gave him subtle hints to shower but his laziness overcame him to do something else.
So after the incident showering never occurred and the one time I remember him actually showering took like an hour and a half because he had to do everything slower due to the pain of the clavicle.
I, of course, didn't understand how much work and effort had to be put in just to take a shower with only one arm. I had thoughts in my mind like, "It's just a shower, it's not rocket science" or "How hard is it to do this everyday?"
Becoming understanding is hard to do. So I experimented, just to try to feel what he was feeling. In the middle of my shower I put my arm in a "sling" position and attempted to continue with my shower.
I lasted about five seconds.
After that small amount of time I gave up and was much more tolerable of my roommates' condition.
I felt broken for the broken.
I think we should apply this to other aspects of life.
Sometimes when I think about the homeless I think to myself, "Go get a job, it's not impossible." What I failed to do was put myself in their shoes. I don't know their situation, their addictions, their struggles. I, rather, put them in my shoes, if that makes sense.
I mean, I sometimes imagine what I would do if I was homeless. Fighting to find every meal, shelter over my head, making money. I usually think that the first thing I would do would be to find a job, get my paycheck, rent a place to live and go up from there. I don't think that situation is applicable though. There must be something that I don't realize or feel that makes being homeless so hard. In order to feel for the homeless, do we have to become homeless?
Isn't this what Jesus did?
Maybe Jesus came down as an average human because it was something we could relate too.
Something we know.
Imagine if Jesus came down as a King or Superhero, wouldn't that be intimidating? I can't really relate with that.
I have now returned from Christmas Break and my roommate is mostly healed. The magic of a break. He is no longer in a sling so now I expect showers to occur but who knows, maybe their is some other thing I have to relate too.
After the incident he was in a sling for some time and basically did nothing. He tried going to class, tried walking faster outside, and tried getting out of bed in less than an hour. He, only on one occasion, tried showering.
Not showering is something my roommate has become known for. Usually he showers right before work and that's about it, which isn't enough times a week in my book. So, of course we gave him subtle hints to shower but his laziness overcame him to do something else.
So after the incident showering never occurred and the one time I remember him actually showering took like an hour and a half because he had to do everything slower due to the pain of the clavicle.
I, of course, didn't understand how much work and effort had to be put in just to take a shower with only one arm. I had thoughts in my mind like, "It's just a shower, it's not rocket science" or "How hard is it to do this everyday?"
Becoming understanding is hard to do. So I experimented, just to try to feel what he was feeling. In the middle of my shower I put my arm in a "sling" position and attempted to continue with my shower.
I lasted about five seconds.
After that small amount of time I gave up and was much more tolerable of my roommates' condition.
I felt broken for the broken.
I think we should apply this to other aspects of life.
Sometimes when I think about the homeless I think to myself, "Go get a job, it's not impossible." What I failed to do was put myself in their shoes. I don't know their situation, their addictions, their struggles. I, rather, put them in my shoes, if that makes sense.
I mean, I sometimes imagine what I would do if I was homeless. Fighting to find every meal, shelter over my head, making money. I usually think that the first thing I would do would be to find a job, get my paycheck, rent a place to live and go up from there. I don't think that situation is applicable though. There must be something that I don't realize or feel that makes being homeless so hard. In order to feel for the homeless, do we have to become homeless?
Isn't this what Jesus did?
Maybe Jesus came down as an average human because it was something we could relate too.
Something we know.
Imagine if Jesus came down as a King or Superhero, wouldn't that be intimidating? I can't really relate with that.
I have now returned from Christmas Break and my roommate is mostly healed. The magic of a break. He is no longer in a sling so now I expect showers to occur but who knows, maybe their is some other thing I have to relate too.
January 23, 2011
January 19, 2011
Seclusion
I watched Iron Man 2 yesterday and one part stuck out to me.
When the good guys (SHIELD) wanted Tony Stark to fulfill his destiny of finishing his fathers' work they secluded him from the outside world. They cut off the phone and internet.
Lately, I've been trying to do that. I have slowly tried pulling away from Facebook, which is probably my biggest time-waster. It's amazing the power that an inanimate, unemotional, pixelated website can hold on a person.
I've tried the cold turkey thing before with Facebook; just not going on it at all. I usually only last a week. So this time I did it a little different and the planets must have been aligned or something because things are working out.
My roommate, who doesn't own a laptop, was in need of one during last week because his class went off-campus to Wells Fargo headquarters. So I let him borrow mine. (Josh, my apologies for mentioning that place).
For a week I didn't have a laptop until about five o'clock. This greatly reduces the chances of me going on Facebook. If I needed a computer I would go to the library where I was much more productive in my work.
I am slowly, gradually trying to make myself more secluded. I'm not trying to be anti-social, just trying to be less distracted. This way, I can focus more of my attention at the people around me, these posts I write, and my homework. I think it will make a better story.
I find myself becoming more and more eager to make bigger changes but I urge myself to go slow.
My plan, in the future, is to go without using a cellphone one day a week. The plan has flaws though. Emergencies are bound to happen on the day I actually need a cellphone or if I'm doing a group project they have to contact me somehow. The cellphone plan is currently on hold until I set parameters around what I can and cannot do. Self-control being the hardest thing to accomplish
I also plan on going without Facebook for long stretches, making it less and less of a priority in life.
The Twitter stays. It hasn't consumed me and I don't think it will.
In Iron Man 2, Tony Stark created a new element with his time of seclusion. I don't have that high of aspirations. That sort of thing isn't exactly my forte. I don't know what I plan on doing with the time I will have, in a way, created for myself. Maybe nap more often, read more books, or just spend time with other people.
When the good guys (SHIELD) wanted Tony Stark to fulfill his destiny of finishing his fathers' work they secluded him from the outside world. They cut off the phone and internet.
Lately, I've been trying to do that. I have slowly tried pulling away from Facebook, which is probably my biggest time-waster. It's amazing the power that an inanimate, unemotional, pixelated website can hold on a person.
I've tried the cold turkey thing before with Facebook; just not going on it at all. I usually only last a week. So this time I did it a little different and the planets must have been aligned or something because things are working out.
My roommate, who doesn't own a laptop, was in need of one during last week because his class went off-campus to Wells Fargo headquarters. So I let him borrow mine. (Josh, my apologies for mentioning that place).
For a week I didn't have a laptop until about five o'clock. This greatly reduces the chances of me going on Facebook. If I needed a computer I would go to the library where I was much more productive in my work.
I am slowly, gradually trying to make myself more secluded. I'm not trying to be anti-social, just trying to be less distracted. This way, I can focus more of my attention at the people around me, these posts I write, and my homework. I think it will make a better story.
I find myself becoming more and more eager to make bigger changes but I urge myself to go slow.
My plan, in the future, is to go without using a cellphone one day a week. The plan has flaws though. Emergencies are bound to happen on the day I actually need a cellphone or if I'm doing a group project they have to contact me somehow. The cellphone plan is currently on hold until I set parameters around what I can and cannot do. Self-control being the hardest thing to accomplish
I also plan on going without Facebook for long stretches, making it less and less of a priority in life.
The Twitter stays. It hasn't consumed me and I don't think it will.
In Iron Man 2, Tony Stark created a new element with his time of seclusion. I don't have that high of aspirations. That sort of thing isn't exactly my forte. I don't know what I plan on doing with the time I will have, in a way, created for myself. Maybe nap more often, read more books, or just spend time with other people.
January 15, 2011
January 08, 2011
January 07, 2011
The List | 09 | Saltines
Another one crossed off "The List"
I tried eating six saltines in under a minute over Christmas Break.
I was not successful in doing it under a minute but I did do it in over a minute.
I also witnessed two people do it in under a minute so it is most definitely possible.
Onto the next thing on the list.
I tried eating six saltines in under a minute over Christmas Break.
I was not successful in doing it under a minute but I did do it in over a minute.
I also witnessed two people do it in under a minute so it is most definitely possible.
Onto the next thing on the list.
January 06, 2011
Dropping A Class
I am currently in Interim, also known as J-term. To enlighten very few of you, basically you take one class for a month and that is it. You have the same class for a couple of hours every day until boredom comes streaming out of your tear ducts.
I originally was going to take a storytelling class. Storytelling being something that I kind of talk about on here so the title/topic appealed to me. My advisor suggested it because it is not offered that much and he just so happens to teach it. Aiming to not disappoint him or rejecting his suggestion I signed up to take it.
I was one of the eight people that signed up for it. Not a big deal, just slightly odd.
Then I received an email from him during Christmas Break. He gave us a reading assignment and told us about the three movies that we would be storyboarding, directing, producing, and editing. Three movies in a month is a little overkill in my opinion. The last movie I made drained me of my creative juices. Too many hours spent editing drains you and your ability to think of other stories to make.
So I had my excuses. Early class, lots of movies, lack of modern equipment, lots of work, many other options that can fulfill the degree requirement. I searched for another class to take, found one, debated in my mind for awhile if this is really what I want to do, dropped the storytelling class, and signed up for the other class. The other class being a film class where we sit and watch movies then talk about it.
Of course, the first day classes start I see my advisor, with his new goatee(classy), in the lunch room. He comes up to me, fake slams his tray on the table and sits down to talk to me. He asks, "Where were you this morning?" I tell him I dropped the class and he says he knows. I tell him my reasons, noted above, and he understands but he had heard of my movies from earlier and how excited he was to see what I could come up with. He also noted that if I want to learn the stuff in the class later in life it would be lots of money.
Guilt trips are so powerful.
So now I'm filled with regret and tell him sorry. He realizes that the email was probably not a good idea and I sort of agree. I tell him I would like to drop in sometime and just sit in. He tells me about some people he is bringing in that he thinks I would like. I agree to join in for class then.
As I write this I get even more filled with regret. If I was an impulsive person I would have dropped the class, added it back, dropped it again, and added it again. I could change back to that class but I still feel as if my creativity needs a break, at least from the academic setting.
I hate "disappointing" people and I am sure that if I tell that to my advisor he will disagree that I am disappointing him. It's his job to push people to learn things right? To push them toward their potential? Am I just holding myself back? Did I choose the healthy thing to do or the lazy? Am I being wise or fearful?
Because isn't, "wisdom a convenient mask for fear?"
I originally was going to take a storytelling class. Storytelling being something that I kind of talk about on here so the title/topic appealed to me. My advisor suggested it because it is not offered that much and he just so happens to teach it. Aiming to not disappoint him or rejecting his suggestion I signed up to take it.
I was one of the eight people that signed up for it. Not a big deal, just slightly odd.
Then I received an email from him during Christmas Break. He gave us a reading assignment and told us about the three movies that we would be storyboarding, directing, producing, and editing. Three movies in a month is a little overkill in my opinion. The last movie I made drained me of my creative juices. Too many hours spent editing drains you and your ability to think of other stories to make.
So I had my excuses. Early class, lots of movies, lack of modern equipment, lots of work, many other options that can fulfill the degree requirement. I searched for another class to take, found one, debated in my mind for awhile if this is really what I want to do, dropped the storytelling class, and signed up for the other class. The other class being a film class where we sit and watch movies then talk about it.
Of course, the first day classes start I see my advisor, with his new goatee(classy), in the lunch room. He comes up to me, fake slams his tray on the table and sits down to talk to me. He asks, "Where were you this morning?" I tell him I dropped the class and he says he knows. I tell him my reasons, noted above, and he understands but he had heard of my movies from earlier and how excited he was to see what I could come up with. He also noted that if I want to learn the stuff in the class later in life it would be lots of money.
Guilt trips are so powerful.
So now I'm filled with regret and tell him sorry. He realizes that the email was probably not a good idea and I sort of agree. I tell him I would like to drop in sometime and just sit in. He tells me about some people he is bringing in that he thinks I would like. I agree to join in for class then.
As I write this I get even more filled with regret. If I was an impulsive person I would have dropped the class, added it back, dropped it again, and added it again. I could change back to that class but I still feel as if my creativity needs a break, at least from the academic setting.
I hate "disappointing" people and I am sure that if I tell that to my advisor he will disagree that I am disappointing him. It's his job to push people to learn things right? To push them toward their potential? Am I just holding myself back? Did I choose the healthy thing to do or the lazy? Am I being wise or fearful?
Because isn't, "wisdom a convenient mask for fear?"
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