Heartbeats

I once knew a man who thought he had meaning
A man whose life he thought he was leading
He thought he knew what had meaning
Until he found out what is real, a sort of feeling
Cause he knew the lies from which he was feeding
Then this mans heart was beating

I once knew a man who cared about nothing
everything about life, it was just hunching
He lacked intimacy, and friendship, and meaning
and for that, he took the beating
But one day he opened up to what he was dealing
and now a new life, he seems to be leading

He found what has truth, value, and worth
and he held onto them forever
and to those he held, they witnessed a re-birth
A relationship never to be severed

This man I knew looked back and saw his life
From the past he saw it as a darkened mess
And realized who paid the price
Meaning said he had much, but he knew he had less

From looking back he then looked forward
And with support from above he found meaning
Meaning that was refreshed and new
He found something to live for
Someone to live for
With a beating heart

What Went Through My Head While Squished In A Van

I spy
With my little eye
A guy
Who is shy
But not afraid to cry
Never wonders if they're a gemini
Or questions the hair on his thigh
(Not to pry)

They occasionally enjoys ties
Always waves, but never says his, "Hi's"
Also does the same with his, "Bye's"
Who doesn't enjoy a lie
But really enjoys pie

Who dreams of someday calling a woman my
Maybe someday they'll give it a try
So they close their eyes and gives a sigh
And imagines a different love-high
Which is like imagining how to fly
Up in the sky
And for that, you don't ask why
Because to not experience love, they'd rather die

And that is what I spy
With my little eye

Unpublished Poetry : Part Three

This is what happens when you clean your room. You find a poem you wrote "way back in the day" to your friend when he was sick.

Why Are You Sick?

Josh the Bosh
Why are you sick?
are you sick with a cold?
why are you so bold?
are you sick with the flu?
did you wear that pink tutu?

Why are you sick?
You pink tutu dresser
Now, I think of you lesser
You sick dancer
You can go be prancer
you lancer.

You b-ball baller
you shot caller
just go and holler

No b-ball for you
and your silly pink tutu
for I can't see
your pink tutu
with some Nike shocks
you sick sock

Do the soundboard for school
Oh no, no, no, much to sick for that
Make poor little Matt do all of that
You sick little brat.
Why'd you make him do all that

So was it that pink tutu
because you got the flu
or was it poor little Matt
that gave you that
oh, not at all, it was that pink tutu
I bet.

So why are you sick?
You old bosh you
that stink old flu
just got you
so get better soon
oh get better soon
don't you fret
you sick old pink tutu dresser Lancette

Unpublished Poetry : Part Two

This is what happens when you clean your room. You find poems written by your friend "way back in the day." Like it or hate it, you should visit his blog.

Never Kiss A Mouse

Never kiss a mouse
Because their breath smells really bad
And if you ever kiss a mouse
you will be really sad.
Mice don't go to the dentist
To make their sharp teeth white
So they don't care if they turn yellow
So you they'll probably bite.
Even though they are so cute
It doesn't mean you can kiss them
They will say they love you
But that was way back then
Now the mice are evil
They do bad things all day
And if you ever kiss them
It is you who's gonna pay
And you will be very mad
Because they made you their prey
This rhyme is very bad
badder than all the rest
But my next one will be
the very, very, best
I will work on it all day and night
Through fire, through rain, through snow
Which I think is pretty stupid
Since you're not even a girl.

Unpublished Poetry : Part One

This is what happens when you clean your room. You find poems written by your friend "way back in the day." Like it or hate it, you should visit his blog.

Unhealthy Snacks

Matthew Pautsch, Matthew Pautsch
You like to sit on the couch
You like to eat chips and pop
Your belly will soon go flop
from having too much to eat
You won't be able to get back on your feet
You have become so very fat
You're even fatter than your cat
Junk food is not good for you
That stuff belongs at the zoo
So now you best stand back up
before you begin to throw up.
Put that junk food in the trash
And go make yourself some cash.
Don't go and buy more food
It makes you look so very rude
If you by more food, get some burritos
And not the junk food, cooler ranch Doritos
Carrots are a food that is healthy
And eating healthy
Will make you wealthy.
So if you want junk food
go buy some more
But you will end up
very poor.

Bedtime Story

04.30 | There was once a man named Lee
Who was scared to come out from under his tree
That overlooked people swimming in the sea
And deep down he thought, "I wish that was me."

The sun rose and dropped
But Lee did not move from his spot
Around the tree he would trot
And then fall asleep on his cot

One day a visitor came to meet Lee
It was a beautiful girl named Lucy
She brought some tea
And they drank it merrily

She left at the sunset
With memories you could never forget
Saddened, Lee said, "You'll probably never come back, I'll bet"
Lucy smirked, "I'll be back, don't you fret"

Time passed and soon Fall came
And the tree grew very tame
The limbs looking like a cane
While the sea was losing its fame
And still Lucy came
Even in the rain

Winter came near
And Lucy had fear
That Lee wouldn't make it this year
So Lucy ran where he could hear
"Lee, you have to come with me," she said with a tear
"If you want me to leave, my dear,
you'll have to kick me rear!"

So Lucy stood in thought
And she must've thought alot

Lee became impatient and crossed his arms in dismay
He mumbled under his breath, "Trying to make me leave! Oh she'll pay."
But I guess Lucy didn't see it this way

Next thing you know Lucy is kicking Lee in the rear
"What are you doing, my dear?!?"
"Kicking you in the rear!"
Once Lee got out from under the tree, you could see a tear.

Because Lee had never experienced pain
And sometimes pain is what pushes you forward
To let go of fears of what is out from under the tree
So that we may go and play with others in the sea

And they all lived happily ever after...

I Thought Of You

03.30 | I saw the snow falling slowly
And I thought of you

I listened to some music
And I thought of you

I saw a Buick
And I thought of you

I ate some pizza
And I thought of you

I saw this pretty girl
And I thought of you

I saw the stars
And I thought of you

I touched softness
And I thought of you

I felt warmth
And I thought of you

I was doing math
And I thought of you

I am writing this
And I thought of you

I heard someones heartbreak
And I thought of me
Who was thinking about you

I saw happiness in holding hands
And I thought of me
Who was thinking about you

What Can I Say?

02.30 | What can I say to make this right
to make you not hold me so tight

to give me some freedom, some space
to know it's not a race,
but just keeping the same pace

What can I say?
That I changed my mind?
That I'm always wrong?
And You're always right?

What words will make you not mad
What can I say to make you not sad
but rather make you glad
Maybe the fact that I know nothing about plaid

I'm sorry you're to selfish to let me go
I'm sorry I have the heart to see you with someone else
I'm sorry that I care enough for your desires
I'm sorry I never can be that desire

So what can I say?
What can I say?

Oh Please Come Back Again

01.30 | To the worried looking girl I saw in the green shirt yesterday that walked by me once and then wished she would walk by again.

You pass me by
I ask you why
Please don't be shy
It should be easy as pie
Just please again walk by

Don't look so worried
Don't walk away
Don't be in a hurry
Just tell me what to say

Comfort is here
But you passed it
Let's talk like peers
Where closely we'll sit
And discuss comfort cures
and we'll make our hands fit
Just please again walk by here

Yes! You walk by again! I cannot believe it!

I sit up in my chair to look less lazy
Come on just feel my stare
Drop your worries to feel less hazy
Come on just feel my care
Don't think of me as crazy
You're making my heart tear!

Distant you are now
But close you feel
All I can think is wow
Sign me up for this deal
Hit my heart with a pow
Together let's have a meal
And make promises with a seal

Cause I make your heart mend
And my feelings to you I'll send
Oh please just come back again

Running Away

I am running away
running away from myself
from who I was
from who I am
and from who I will become
from the socially acceptable
from the norms of the norms
from the judgements
from the rage
I am running away

I am running away
sprinting to find a new me
to where my heart belongs
to where my soul yearns
to the socially outcast
to the fearful
to the needy
to the lonely
to the hopeless
to the lowest of the lows
I am running to you

I am running for you
so that you know the place where the breathing is easy
and the sky is always sunny
and where the smiles are natural and genuine
where Gods love is known
and we filled our holes with that
where community is defined by actions
not just hopes
where art brings tears to everyone
even the most hearty of men
I am running for you

Lord, let me run for You
Lord, let me run for You

Admiration

To the girl I saw on the bench a couple of days ago:

There you are
Shaking your head like you shake my heart
Not a clue I'm writing this about you
Out the window you look
The look that makes me feel like you can see these words
These words I'm writing: my anthem of admiration
Focused on something on the outside
I want to know what you think
What you drink
And If you like pink

How was your day?
I'll be your friend
We'll share secrets, deep and dark
Thoughts, significant and out of the park
And love,  the kind that starts a spark.
Your hair blows in the wind of the open window
You sit still, almost embracing it
still thinking

Do you feel well?
Can I ask you that yet?
Is it to early to tell
If this admiration should continue?

Will I see you again?
Will I hear you speak?
This ride may be over but I think this is a wonderful start
A start to who knows what may come
A shot in the dark if you ask me

I feel younger than you
But I am terrible at guessing ages

It all started with you on a bench
Waiting for a ride
And me admiring you from afar

You don't know i am writing this to you
But someday it might come around

I'll leave it up to fate
To destiny
And to hope
For you to get this

To know of this admiration.

Night Ramble

Sometimes I ramble on at night right before I go to bed. The only editing I did on this was spellcheck so the punctuation and improper capitalization's are either for effect or my laziness.

My nose is to floor
Fuel running low
Got this blessing in my life
but don't know what it's heading towards
simple times, simple moments
that take my breath away
A life undeserved
but someone was willing to pay

Forehead hitting desk straight ahead
eyes closing thinking of what is around the bend
breathing in, breathing out
heart beating, pounding, thumping
nostrils flaring, eyes are glazing
at the sound of this rhyme
or the fact that I'm out of time

lamp pointing up
right towards the sky
light beams fading the higher you go
I look up and ask why
Please meet me somewhere down the road
some place where comfort surrounds
where love is free and honest
where a blanket is not far from reach
where sunsets are pretty
and the milky way shines
where honesty breeds integrity
and every moment
takes your breath away

Cant look back and see what is there
disgust and anguish of past mistakes
but laughs and memories from old times
learning from experience
and experiences from learning
rambling now words fall short from my mind
but still something there, whispering something kind
a soft voice, like the wind of the sea
yet a powerful voice, like the guard of the night

A ramble in the night.

I Can't Breathe

You can't stop breathing
Cause you're the reason I'm still living
My heart knows it's you I'm missing
So it's life that you are giving

I know when I'm cold
It's you who I long to hold
But I'm never that bold
And then you are never told

I had breath, but you took it away
Don't worry, you don't have to pay
All I want is to see you today
And tell you I'm OK
My love for you will be strong in May
For I'm breathing off of it this day

So I'll breathe off thinking of you
Until someday I'll give you a clue
And tell you everything that's true
That it's you I'm pretty into

I Miss You

If one tear could write
Scrolls would fill up many pews
If that is too much think about tonight
Think of all my tears shed missing you
So maybe these words will shed some light

Even if I wish to see you with all my might
I would still have to take a flight
And if I could see your sight
I know things would be alright

So even though these words are few
I'm glad to say I miss you too
And I think my heart just flew
Because I'm sure it knew
That we just grew
And it had the best view

All because you miss me, and I miss you.

Goodnight To You

So you didn't have any fun today
But we'll make up for it in May
And you'll remember it for many days
Then we can recount what we say

We'll swing in the summer air
Not worrying about how we'll fair
I'll tell you how much I care
As I stroke your smooth hair

Because even though we're both gone
Without you I don't feel strong
And previously I had no song
But that was before you came along

So, I'll say goodnight to you
Wishing your nightmares are few
While I dream of your eyes hue
So, goodnight to you

Breathe In, Breathe Out

Here I am, hand holding a pen
Because I don't want to break your heart again
Writing to you all night from a den
All of it, with this pen

Why can't you be mine?
Maybe we should give it more time
Waiting for you I'll be fine
Don't worry, I won't whine
Just tell me to say a line
To make you be mine

Miles may separate us
But being together is a must
Just send me some love in a wind gust
Because the little I have is turning into dust
I know we're not a bust
So I'll try not to cuss
And even harder to not fuss
Until you and I become us

I'll breathe in, hearing your doubt
Yearning for you, it's the end of the drought
Cause you're sure a knock-out
And we'll make this work-out
I know our relationship will sprout
And with eyes closed, I'll breathe out

I Want To Write To You

I would have written something to you today
But fate would have it, that it is not the way
So maybe I should write you something to say
Would that point you in the right way?

I would have told you how I feel
But then that would break my seal
The love of my heart won't peel
It only moves like a wheel

Grab on, hold on tight
Cause this thing is about to take flight
No thanks, it's already got a light
And yes, it does turn right

Keep holding on, it's about to explode
Cause love can take off quite a load
There is no need to break the code
It's already free, like an open road

So here I write, fingers flowing fluently
Writing to you, hopefully not to prudently
Wishing it not to forward, or to rash
Or maybe to fast, like a mad man dash

I dreamt of you in the fog
So I ran back with a jog
Jumped over a log
And wrote you this blog

Because I want to write to you...

Tonight We Shine

And as a star shines so bright
I see nothing but darkness here
I know stars shine this night
But why isn't that anywhere near?
What do I do to take flight?
What should I do to burn so bright?

Lay Myself Down To Sleep

Goodnight my fellow dreamers
Goodnight my fellow stars
As long as you are with me
You do not seem so far
Though the sky is dark
My heart is filled with light
And even though I want to leap
I lay myself, down to sleep

You

I am weak.

You are strong.
Your love is strong.

I am strong with You.

I have fear.

You are fear.
You created fear.

I will only fear You.

I don't know what to do.

You can do things through me.
You are the center of my life.

I will make you the boss.


I have nobody.

You're all I need.
This world has nothing for me.

I need You.


I don't deserve You.

You love me.
YOU LOVE ME!

I love You.