Goliath Eyes

I was on the road to a leadership retreat.  It was three hours of sitting in the very back row of a van all to myself.

So I had lots of time to look around.

At one point we passed a yellow Mitsubishi, with a rather large man wearing a yellow sleeveless shirt.

We made eye contact for a brief second which is not as awkward as it sounds.

It was one of those unique moments of eye contact.  Those moments where it only lasts a second but you feel like you know them.  Like you know their story.  His eyes were comforting.  They were singing songs of pain, song of a history, songs of peace.

I felt like I was looking at Goliath.  I am not sure why, but I felt bad for him.

Then I wondered what the real Goliath of the Bible looked like while going into battle.  What story did his eyes tell?  I wonder if it was anything like the man I saw?

Then I thought about what David looked like while throwing his stone.

I just read the story of David and Goliath (1 Samuel 17).  It's definitely not like it was in Sunday School.  Lots of smack talk, and in the end David cuts off the head of Goliath and brings it to Jerusalem.

Song of the Week 9-24-11

Pretty good song. Yup.

Ready To Die

My high school German teacher died last week. After overcoming cancer earlier in her life it came back and eventually took her life.

It never really occurred to me what an influence she was on my life. I definitely took it for granted. She was joy, and it was her gift to the world. Always happy, always smiling. I tear up thinking of her smiling. Tears of joy.

But there are times where I
just
can't
handle it.

I lose my focus at what I am doing, think of her, and then my eyes tear up.  I then realize what is going on, and I come back trying to avoid people looking at me. All because I don't want the attention, because I don't know how to explain it.

The thing that gets me every time was that she was ready to die, just waiting to breathe her final breath. She was talking about going to see God, to go home, to dance in heaven.

But I just can't handle it. I mean, I almost have this urge to shout, "STAY ALIVE, KEEP BREATHING, THIS IS HOME" but there is no response, just a look of peace, a look saying that, someday, you'll know this feeling.

And maybe someday I will know that feeling.
But right now I just can't wrap my mind around it.
She was ready to die though.
In quietness and confidence was her strength.

Song of the Week 9-17-11

Hosanna means, "save us!"

We sang this song at EBC a couple of weekends ago and the worship pastor set it up perfectly. He talked about how he expected to be a complete wreck because his wife is expecting a child soon and how God has been working through him in this time. He said how we don't say, "God, Hosanna" enough or soon enough. Anyways, that's why I now like this song.

Here's a different version.

Summer Dreams

I had some dreams this summer. I only wrote down two though.

One: Trees

All the trees were cut down in the front yard.

One dying tree.

This dream had all of the trees cut down. It was very bright because there was less shade and it was a lot easier to mow the lawn. That was my first thought about it.  How it would be easier to mow the lawn.

Now thinking about it I think it would not be fun mowing the lawn without any trees.  The sun would beat down on  me and even though I wouldn't have to duck under branches and leaves I would get really hot and sweaty.

So what does it mean?

Two: Biking and timing

I had this same dream two nights in a row.

In this dream I went biking with my parents and for some reason we had an instructor. I guess in the dream my family got super into biking. The dream seemed to be all about biking properly and pedaling at the right time, going up hills and down hills, knowing when to pedal and when not too.

I remember going down a steep hill and then crossing a  bridge.  I also remember never being on time. I was always late, always making some mistakes along the way to make me late.  My instructor pointed them out to me too and eventually I got to the point where I knew when I did it wrong.  There was always an emphasis on timing, on the clock.  Very strange with the possibility of being meaningful.

So what does it mean?

Song of the Week 9-10-11

I hear this song on KOOL108 all the time and it has that epic kind of feeling to it so I found this epic video. Enjoy.

I Did Something Pretty Crazy

In a half-flirting-half-being-super-weird-and-spontaneous I wrote a letter to a girl that I sort of don't know and made it out to be a spontaneous act of random kindness.  I didn't sign my name or anything I just wrote a letter. I also gave her a CD.

So it was a 50/50 kind of thing. Half spontaneous, half anonymous flirting.

In the letter I wrote that i am trying to be more spontaneous in life.

Which is true.

I also added that I was nervous writing the letter.

Also true.

Also told her I picked her PO out at random.

A lie. I had her planned the whole time.

This idea popped in my head this summer one day. The thought was simple, get someone a random gift with a random letter. After that thought, this girl popped in my head. So I combined both of them into this spontaneous task.

I debated with for awhile whether to reveal myself or not in the letter.  I decided that maybe somehow, some-way she would find me and it would be a magical Hollywood ending.  So I lied to myself thinking that that would happen and didn't sign my name.  I actually signed it, "I should put my name here but I'm not."

So what I did was more spontaneous than daring. I was still nervous doing it though.  All-in-all it was pretty crazy; something that I probably would not have done last year.

Hopefully it made her day.  I hope she isn't calling an investigator.  That would be weird.

Anyways, I started off the year by doing something crazy.  What have you done lately?

Song of the Week 9-3-11

Kanye is a pretty vulgar artist but for some reason I like listening to his music. He seems so raw, so authentic.