If I Had A Club...

Sleep seems to be passing me by this month. I don't know whether it is because at times my dorm room is eighty degrees or because my mind can never seem to shut off from little scenarios in my head.

I have been thinking about random people throughout my life and I am not sure why.

I thought of Peter, who was my best friend in third grade and I remember telling him who I liked while walking on the street by the playground during recess after telling him how he was my best friend and how I felt like I had to tell him because I couldn't contain my feelings any longer. I made him promise over and over again not to tell anyone but the next day somehow people found out and teased me about it.

And Bailey, whose mom was high school friends with my friends mom. I would run into her on the sidewalks of Baylor and ask her about her broken wrist when she actually had a cast on it from intramural football. Then spring semester started and I only saw her occasionally when I was walking to my nine o'clock class on Tuesdays and Thursdays and she barely ever saw me but when she did it only consisted of one of those awkward waves from the opposite sides of the street. I didn't even know her that well but I always liked waving to her because she had a nice smile and actually stopped to talk to me once.

We made a list today in class of who we would like to meet someday. I wrote a lot of my favorite authors and musicians then assumed that meeting famous or even semi-famous people would be semi-awkward and would be kinda boring so I wrote down a fireman, homeless person, and the guy who invited my pencil because those guys would have stories to tell. I feel that we wouldn't have that awkward of conversations and that maybe I would have something to contribute to the conversations.

I haven't been able to write in awhile which might contribute to my lack of sleep because writing your thoughts down helps a lot. Even if you don't post them to some public website I would highly suggest at least writing your thoughts down. At least, it helps my mind not get so filled up. The more I write the easier it has become to write down my thoughts about something. For my class I have to write about what I thought about certain pieces of music or a theatre production and my roommate gets angry at me because I write a lot more than him and he says I am making everyone else look bad. Writing is good.

I originally titled this draft, "A Dark Robe" and I am not sure why. Usually when I write a draft I type in the title and then a little snippet about some moment I had so I will remember what I want to write about but for this one I just wrote the title then assumed I would remember what I wanted to write about. I must not have been happy with the title because I didn't write anything and now I forget how I came up with "A Dark Robe." I don't even like the title anyway.

I started reading "Sex God" by Rob Bell and I remember my sister-in-law asking me if the book was about sex and I am only two chapters in but it doesn't seem like it is about sex but rather sexuality. I don't know the difference really but I'm only two chapters in so I don't know much yet. It's a good book so far though, at least better than I expected. I remember hanging out with my friend Laura at Baylor and seeing the book and thinking, "what a dumb title for a book." I was wrong. It's an awesome title and so far a good book.

I keep reading about the Haiti earthquake and that is sad to hear about but I always wonder why it takes an earthquake for people to wake up and start caring for something and start donating money to. You don't see a lot of people in the news every day doing a fundraiser for schools in Africa and clean water for people in Rwanda. Why is it always an earthquake or hurricane or mudslide? Why not rally the caring everyday? Do we blind ourselves of the hurt around us until we find something we can't avoid?

I am no longer importing these blogs onto Facebook, so no more "notes." I liked it and I think it had more pros than cons because random people would comment it and tell me how they like my random love poems about strangers but I think I want to keep this whole blogging thing a little more exclusive and let people find it on their own. I guess exclusive isn't the right word because it sounds like I am the bouncer and only want a certain amount of people into my club of writings so I guess what I want to say is that I don't want to be so public with this whole blogging thing quite yet.

I'll end this by saying that if I did have a club, I would have open mic night and people would come up and read their thoughts or poems and at the end people would snap and not clap because that what I imagine in my club.

Also, after re-reading this post I feel like it has a lot of run-on sentences...