A Five-Point Story : Baylor

04|05

For those of you who don't know, which is probably none of you, I went to Baylor my freshman year of college. But you knew this already so this is just a statement re-affirming your knowledge of my life.

For those of you don't know, which is also probably none of you, Baylor is a large university down in Waco, Texas. But you knew that too. You readers are smart!

I went through a lot of the same motions during my first year at Baylor as I did during the first year at New Life (see previous blog).

In short, I hated it. I also loved it at times. I say this a lot now but looking back, I think if I stuck it out for another year I would have been alright. I would have put Baylor on a probationary semester or two and then decided whether to transfer or not. Like I said before(again, previous blog) community takes time and at times I feel as if I shorted Baylor on the time part.

At first glance, I viewed Baylor as a large, a lot more organized version of New Life. Baylor had a vision, a goal, a history, and a very pretty campus. I figured, my brother was at a school in Texas and he turned out alright. (He says he went for the academics but we all know he went for a woman.)

So I was excited for this adventure in Texas.

It was early in my first freshman semester that I started this blog. This was done at my friends beckoning because it was the cool thing to do. One and half years later and here I am. After awhile my blogs got kind of depressing, kind of critical, political, and mechanical. I was in a sad state of mind and very critical of everything around me, something that I still carry around at times. I would critique everything down to the bone and would overall turn it into something negative against me being down here. I would never actually critique things in public because I was too scared, rather, I would let my critiques fly free in this blog. Of course, If anyone opposed me of my points I wouldn't be able to defend myself.

It wasn't all terrible down in Texas. I had some very good moments down there too. My roommates were funny and liked to play soccer so I at least stayed active. I still can't believe they thought I was fast.

I went from this very involved life at New Life to a very non-involved life at Baylor. This is what I wanted though. I didn't want to be overwhelmed with things to do during my first year at college. I wanted a little vacation from extra-curricular activities. This could have been my downfall in the end, because extra-curricular activities is where you meet people. I didn't want to go a fraternity though because who wants to work that hard just to get into some club? That's about the extent of my search though, my roommates had lots of friends and I would tag along with them so I wasn't completely lonely.

During my last couple of months at Baylor, when my decision on whether to transfer or not was coming closer it became very hard to decide on whether to stay or to go. Each day was thrown into the equation as I deliberated. Some good days told me that this is where I should be, that I can stick it out here. Some bad days told me that this place was of the devil and Texas was a terrible state. I kept a mental list of pros and cons about Baylor. Whether to stay or to go.

In the end, you all know what I chose. I still like Baylor and I hold no grudges against it. It is a fine institution that I just couldn't seem to find the right spot in or didn't give it enough time to fit somewhere.

Overall, Baylor taught me about who I am as a human. I thought it would teach me this but I imagined it in a very different way. I expected support through me becoming the person I wish to become but rather I received a brick wall for which I had to climb over. I expected people to help lift me over the wall, encouraging support so that when I fell off the wall they would catch me and throw me back up but I never really received that. Again, maybe with time this could have happened. Either way, I still learned a lot about who I am, who I want to become, and who I am becoming.

It was a rough year, freshman year, but it was also a good year, one that I can look back on and reflect upon. Something that helps me in my story, and something helps me help other who seem to be going through the same thing.

This is part four in my five-point story. Baylor. Texas. Sic 'em.