The Darkness

I wrote this on Spring Break. Just to get rid of any confusion. I don't feel as if this is complete but this blog post is really just me writing blah's late at night while pondering things rather than sleeping.

It's around midnight in my room back at home. The light from my computer screen quickly fades into the darkness of the night. The blinds on my window are opened so I can see outside. Snow is on the ground and the moon is shining through the haziness. There is a street lamp on in the distance. I'm listening to the David Crowder Band with my headphones on. I am not sure what to write about though. I think I will write about what is on my mind. I will unplug my computer and write until the battery goes out or I am out of words to say.

Lately, I have been thinking about the dark. I guess you could say an absence of light too, cause that is all darkness is. I don't know why the darkness is so mysterious, so provocative, and so intriguing. Is it because our vision is limited and we don't know what is ahead? Or is it because it gives us the same feeling we get when we close our eyes? Is it because it dulls one sense and enhances are other senses? When I close my eyes I can feel my heartbeat more than before. I can hear my steady breathing. Space seems imminent and far. I feel as if I am in another world, where there is nobody watching and that I can do whatever I want and nobody will judge me because of it. I can hear what I am thinking to myself and visualizing them. I take a few deep breaths to let it all sink in. It is a relief to be in the darkness, almost comforting.

Darkness also brings me fear. Shadows cast upon the wall frighten me. Noises heard get my imagination going. I think of people running through my room, sneaking up on me waiting for the perfect moment to attack. So I sit there and wait for the noise again to get their location and prepare myself for the attack. I clench my fist and my adrenaline pumps through my veins. I usually end up not sleeping for awhile. Darkness only hides things from being exposed to who or what they really are. Darkness needs deliverance.

The dark also reminds me of death and mourning, but also of power, depth, and soul. Death is a dark thing. When you experience someone's death it brings heaviness on your heart, just like darkness feels heavier on your skin. I don't think funeral attire should be black because it is too depressing. People can only take so much suffering and so much heart break. So why make it even harder than it needs to be?

Darkness heightens the colors around it. Is this why black and white photos seem more meaningful and enlightened?

And that is where I stopped and ran out of words. Not really sure where to go from here but I am sitting in my dorm room now with the same situation minus the snow. Lighting in general is a powerful thing, so how much light do you give out?