Running Flat

So I haven't written in awhile. I don't know if it is writer's block or something else. I get a bunch of ideas about what to write about but they usually never come full circle and it kind of makes me sad. So this is one of my attempts to write completely. Hopefully this one comes around.

I've found myself slowly wearing out throughout this semester. I imagine it like a bicycle tire that has been over used. The tread is wearing down and becoming smooth which makes the precious air contained inside more accessible to the jagged rocks on the path.

I don't feel as if I am going to get a flat tire anytime soon but I do feel that at the rate I'm going it will be coming soon. As I keep going through the environment I feel that I am conforming more and more to the bumpy path. Some rocks still to me and become hard to pry off. I am becoming more and more defenseless from the enemies trying to change me. I know this isn't the way I want to become and that I wish to fling away my adversaries and temptations but I find it becoming so very hard.

The word conform always reminds me of my friends t-shirt that says, "do not conform." It has a bible verse below it but I don't remember the reference.

I am trying to consistently remind myself that this world has nothing for me. Whether it be from this very laptop to Halo to Reeses Peanut Butter Eggs. I have to remind myself that there is this God-shaped hole and nobody what I try to fill it up with I will never be satisfied. The only thing that fills me and gives me complete and utter joy is God. Knowing that will repel just about all enemies.

THIS WORLD HAS NOTHING FOR ME.

I have to repeat it over and over again because I never seem to believe it. Worldly possessions eventually lose interest or break but God lives forever.

So even though I feel exposed and wearing out I feel this impenetrable shield that will not let me go. I shall not run flat. I shall fight the good fight, finish the race, and I will keep the faith.